I hope you’re well and maybe you’ve been on your own way of healing some wounds from your past. Growth is a permanent process of breaking patterns that do not serve us anymore. It’s about learning new things but it’s above all about unlearning so many things. It could be thoughts, habits, and way of doing things, a mindset that doesn’t serve your evolution. To do so, you have first to become aware of the thing you need to shift.
Usually, repeated situations, repeated painful feelings and meeting new people can lead us to shed some light on the things that we have unconsciously let playing hard in our behaviours from so long. At some point, you start to wonder how come you get into the same painful situation each time, the same failure, the same result with different persons. It’s the red flag that something has to change!
When we grow up, we are sometimes taught unhealthy ways to behave, to think but we also internalized some wounds deeply inside of us. It could be sometime something that hurt you: a hurting saying to you, someone who has belittle you, someone who deprived you from love and warmth etc. It could be so many things. When the unhealthy ways are deeply internalized and you have been living so many years in the row not being aware about them, they usually show up in the form of “self-sabotage”. What I mean by “self-sabotage” is that you keep perpetuating behaviours that do not serve your good and well-being by creating the situation to suffer and blaming others for your own-created suffering. It is often in our relationships with people that they come to the surface; but you can find those at the source of your lack of self-esteem, self-love and self-acceptance. I always say that it’s not what people say about you, it’s more about what do you say to yourself about you?
I’ve been there. I’ve found myself always being in a struggle feeling for everything. I used to feel struggle for my love relationships, for my work, for money. I finally came to understand after a decade of an intense growth process and healing that I was acting from a “struggle mindset”. It means that I thought that everything that I want had to be a struggle. I was abdicating my power to some wasting situations, unhealthy relationships by the lack of healthy boundaries, and acting from a place of lack to get money not seeing all the abundance I already had in myself first. I’m not telling that everything had to come easy to you but it has at least to flow. Whenever you find yourself in a struggle feeling, it’s because you are resisting to what it is – hardly trying to control a situation or a result anyway. I started to shift in perception when I’ve started to understand that I had to do the best I can do and then surrender the result and deeply trust it will work for my highest good. This requires a great faith in yourself and your power first and the Universe (the force, God, Mother Nature or whatever greatest force than you – you believe in)
When you shift in perception about the fact that you deserve love, money, respect, success etc…you start to see that the need to control how things happen and unfold is a way of self-sabotage. You have been getting in your own way not believing that you are whole, enough, lovable and able to provide for yourself or earn money. Drop the “struggle mindset” and realign to “a flowing mindset”.
It’s hard to find this subtle balance between action and surrender. But it’s in the absence of resistance that we realign. So if something or a relation is not working even if you’ve given everything you could, it’s the sign that you should let go. The hardest part is always to let go but I would say that the most important thing is to learn to receive what YOU deserve: You don’t get what you want, you get what You need. It’s a Perspective and once again perspective is everything.
I hope that this post could help you change your personal perspective about struggling and creating our own unhapiness. Leave me your comments.
Receiving is as much important as giving**